Hey Dan

60% of people believe communication is the most important thing in relationships. This is the same percent of people who believe in ESP. As people we think a lot. We have this inner monologue going on constantly. Some of use have dialogs but that is something else. Like a narcissistic one man play. The only thing is that the plot keep changing. If you could read people minds it would not help you one bit. Because I don't think people know where they are in the plot of this play. In other words I don't think they can follow the plot inside their head what hope does an outsider have.

Posted by Dan at 06:24 PM | Permalink

The term 'one of those days' is the only thing I can think to say about yesterday. It was not a bad or good day, not because nothing happened but because the things that happened were on both ends of the scale. I had emotional arguments with two people that I had not intended or wanted to have. Bob and I went out and spent time away from work. Cache called from New Zealand. I got new powder pants for skiing next week. And the last straw… Zen Calendar entry "Hats against the driving snow go down the path at a slant." … what the heck does that mean?

Posted by Dan at 06:25 PM | Permalink

Well...we sent our reporters out this morning, and well Nothing is happening..we swear...its the damdest thing. We checked in London, Kings out of town so everyone is slacking off, We checked in Scotland, and well they were all to drunk to care. We here in France opted to stay home in bed, well seemed like the thing to do this morning.

we even check in Scarborough village, that little mud hole of a town, we swear here at FNN we believe that tiny town has the largest per capita population of idiots and nutballs, and that's not counting when the British court is in town. Guess what...Nothing..all we found was a very very muddy fellow with a large feather duster brushing our shoes off, seems the whole town hadn't woken up yet, apparently they were off at some road side dive called the cross keys blitzed out of their gourds last night.

Soo we apologize here at FNN, there is no news to report, were going now to the weather center, where hopefully they have weather.
And now the FNN Weather Report...

Sat Feb 23 Sunny Hi 75°F Low 48°F
UV Index: 6 Moderate
Sun Feb 24 Mostly Sunny Hi 77°F Low 42°F
UV Index: 6 Moderate
Our sports team is too hung over from last nights Olympic village party to call in a report, more next week.

Patrick Haughton
FIFI - Gezz all the news is death and war, if I wanted death and war I'd go to work instead of reading the paper...

Posted by Dan at 06:27 PM | Permalink

I received the longest personal call I have ever had tonight. Cache called me from New Zealand. How cool is that? For everyone who knows her she made it fine, the boat she staying on is wonderful. She has already met a nice couple that lives on a boat near hers. I forget their name, but she is from Denmark and he is from Norway. She has decided that all people for Norway are beautiful. It sounds like she is having a good time, and starting to relax a little. I really wish I was there, it sounds nice. Now if they could fix that ozone-sheep problem. If you get a chance ask her about it.

Posted by Dan at 06:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Kryptonite Sucks! It was this green rock that took all of Superman's powers. Imagine being literally bullet proof, then along comes this little green rock and blows it. Today I got a note from my Doctor. I have high Kryptonite (Cholesterol) levels. It was borderline a couple of years ago Cholesterol good, HDL good, LDL 167 when it should have been 130. So I changed my diet and got some more exorcise. Everything fine, Superman is "AOK." Then last year two things happened, one the AMA decided their levels were too high, and mine went up. So I got this note from my doctor "Lab test normal … except" then an arrow to my Cholesterol and LDL level both between 30 and 40 points too high for the new guidelines. Instantly I feel my super powers draining. I have to go on medication to lower them. You see it is a family thing just like Clark Kent. A piece of my past that I did not get a say in just came to rob me of all my super powers. Yeah I know this is not the end of the world. But I am no longer bullet proof?

BTW... Karen, You are going to make some man very happy! You are not unworthy of being with someone for the rest of thier lives... and another thing I will envy that person all my days.

Posted by Dan at 06:30 PM | Permalink

Saturday was cast orientation for Scarborough Faire. Every year I spent 14+ weeks of giving up my weekends. Too get cuts, scraps, burses, sunburn and the occasional broken bone. Every year I ask myself why. This year is no different. I would not be willing to do all of this save one thing. That thing is the desirer to entertain people. One day I will give up this very involved hobby… and I will miss it, but this year I am still looking forward to having an audience.

Still off the diet coke... and still have no idea what to drink instead.

P.S.. Karen you are still a love of my life.

Posted by Dan at 06:31 PM | Permalink

No Diet Coke day two... I found a only one issue with not drinking diet coke... what do I replace it with?

Posted by Dan at 06:34 PM | Permalink

Controversy in the Olympic Games.
Today the Welsh downhill bucket team was awarded a Gold Medal, after controversy arose in that downhill event. A Flemish judge has been suspended after he was found to have accepted three chickens to change his score in favor of the Prussian team. The world was stunned when the Prussians were awarded the gold medal last Thursday after a obvious poorer showing then the Welsh team in the couples downhill bucket sledding competition. The royal downhill regulatory committee chose to look into the matter when his Majesty the prince of Wales commented there was no way on heaven or earth that the Prussians could beat the Welsh in downhill bucket sledding. While the Welsh have been awarded their new medals the Prussians have been allowed to keep their own. In related news the Italian downhill bucket team has filed a motion to be awarded the unused silver meddles despite being unable to complete the downhill course. And now on to Froggy Weather.

Sat Feb 16 Mostly Sunny 67°F 38°F

And now back to your regularly scheduled spamming.

Patrick Haughton
FIFI - Sure I’ll reinvent the wheel, but why don’t you wait till I do before you invent the car.

Posted by Dan at 06:33 PM | Permalink

Lent is a forty-day period before Easter. It begins on Ash Wednesday. We skip Sundays when we count the forty days, because Sundays commemorate the Resurrection. Thus in 2002, Lent begins on 13 February and ends on 30 March. This is the trivial reason why Lent started the day before St. Valentine day. To give you some back ground on me I am not Catholic actually I am a Methodist. Zen Methodist is a more apt description and I during the season of lent I repent by giving up something. I look for a vice, something I may be relying too much on. In short something I need a higher power to help me not do for 40 days. In the last couple of years I have been running short on vices, any that I could give up for 40 day. One cannot stop overworking for 40 days. It is too hard to measure. So this year like the last couple I have turned to the only nasty public vice I have… Diet Coke. I have given it up as Soft drink, as Diet Coke it self, and as caffeine. This year I am giving up as a diet drink.

This reminds me did I mention I been trying to lose weight? Not a lot just 20lbs I was up at 200lb and I don't like being there. So I have been eating less cheeseburgers and more salads. Well it is working because I am now down to 195lb. Yeah me!

Now about those holidays, ok I like Halloween. Thanksgiving is great, and who could do without Christmas. Now we have Valentines Day… Oh come on! Who scheduled these? All of these holidays at once, is the winter that bad? Maybe I am just humbug about Valentines Day this year…

My friend Cache is going to New Zeland. She will be gone for a whole month… I am going to really miss her… but that is a story for another bedtime… as I say.

Musical Note of the Day:

The Ship Song By Nick Cave and the Bad Seed
Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Come loose your dogs upon me
And let your hair hang down
You are a little mystery to me
Every time you come around

We talk about it all night long
We define our moral ground
But when I crawl into your arms
Everything comes tumbling down

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Your face has fallen sad now
For you know the time is nigh
When I must remove your wings
And you, you must try to fly

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Come loose your dogs upon me
And let your hair hang down
You are a little mystery to me
Every time you come around

Posted by Dan at 06:34 PM | Permalink