Hey Dan

Tonight I sat down to write about something that happened to me this weekend. As I type this the bottom of the page has a much edited and incomplete version I will finish at some point. The truth is my heart heavy and I wish I were drunk. The person who does not want me to give her name on my site moved out of my apartment this weekend. I am sad. This is an overly concise description of my feeling, but understanding my current state an accurate one. One word of advice, never watch a romantic comedy four days after a break up.

"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." ~Epictetus

Posted by Dan at 06:49 PM | Permalink

Happy Birthday twenty-seventh Karen, may your world be filled with moonlight, spring rain, blue oceans and all manner wonderful things.

On this day John Wilkes Booth was killed by the U.S. Federal Cavalry(1865), Ferdinand Magellan world traveler, killed by Filipino natives (1521), Beijing students take over Tiananmen Square in China(1989), and the Theologian Johannes Kepler says the universe was created (4977 bc).

Posted by Dan at 06:50 PM | Permalink

From time to time I come across a band that earns my Band of the Future award. The first band to ever receive the title was The Adventures a great band that was headed for great things. MTV 120 minutes loved them, their album rocked (in 1985 it was an album) and the band on a bright star. Then I named them The Band of the Future. The next 3 albums completely tanked and by 1993 the band was no more. This was too be the way of all of my Bands of the Future. By the time I found Golden Palominos Anton Fier had said publicly Dead Inside was there last CD. So in true HeyDan tradition it is Band of the Future time!

Glee Club this Irish trio is my new find and find is just was it is. The CD Mine is now out of print and I could only track it down on ebay. But it is well worth it. All I can say to describe the band is haunting. The sound of the band is heavy folk and melodic. The lead singer Joanne Loughman is a very talented inspired vocalist. She sounds a lot like Siouxsie Sioux (Siouxsie & the Banshees) but clearer with better range. Lyricly think early Church with more complexity. All and all the disk has high points, such as the turns Need and Free to Believe as well as some low points that my grow on me. This is what shoutcast has brought to my life. A band out of print and that has not put out a DC in 8 years is now my new

Posted by Dan at 06:51 PM | Permalink

I got an email from Mom this weekend. Her and Grandpa are selling my grandparents farm in Oregon. Since my step father Sass died it has been too much to take care of the farm and Grandpa. So somewhere in some paper reads the following;

For Sale By Owner Ranch $255,000
22 + acres lot's of timber, located in southern Oregon . 2 pastures. year around creek. + Spring water + 2 storage tank's. School bus comes right to driveway. located 3 miles from town. 1080 sq ft. cute 2 bedroom + den house, Country kitchen includes working wood burning cook stove, + wired for elect stove. Includes heat pump + a/c fully insulated and ducted. Wood burning stove in living /dining room. Bathroom has walk in double shower W/ safety rails. Walk in pantry in kitchen, and large 2nd Pantry and Laundry room. Large Deck with beautiful view. There are 8 out buildings on prop. including large 1140sq ft split level barn , Guest Cabin w/deck one potting shed, Large 12 X 20' storage shed. 1200 sq ft 2 story Garage/shop, A 16' X 45' green house, small barn, and pump house, plus a 18' X 45' carport. Beautiful, quiet property, lot's of deer, and wild turkey's etc.

It seems really weird too look at these details in this form. Grandpa moved up too Oregon in the late seventies after he retired from Engineer for Lockheed. When he moved we could not understand why he would move away from Los Angeles. One trip up to the Ranch for the summer and Mom was trying to figure out how to move us up there. It was really an amazing place. If you have never been to Oregon, you have to see it. The State is beautiful. The number of colors of green is stunning, infinite variations on just one color. The Ranch sits in the middle of it all.

I remember that was the place I discovered that crawfish are real, and water skipper can not be caught. All the that creek the add mentions. I cut me hand on a nail I was trying to hammer in to a log in front of the workshop. After that tools were off limits. Grandma grew worms (night crawler) in large vats next to the potting shed. This was both the coolest and freakiest thing I have seen at age eleven. I remember sleeping out side for the first time in the hammock next to the deck, on I had slept in a tent but not really out side, like this. I am not sad about them selling it. I just wonder if the people who live there next have an eleven year old.

Posted by Dan at 06:52 PM | Permalink

4/19/02 Location: London
King Henry, upon hearing that trebuchets are back in style, hereby has posted a reward for the most accurate trebuchet to be built. Engineers around England flocked to Scarbourgh for the annual Trebuchet model show for the latest ideas in aeronautical trebuchet design. New this year is the Stealth Trebuchet, model MCXVII. After many years of Scottish military development, the cloak of secrecy has been revealed. Here is the interview with the head engineer:

Q. FNNN: So what can you tell us about the new model MCXVII Trebuchet?
A. Sprocket: It’s big, bigger than a house, smaller than a castle.

Q. FNNN: And what about the rumors that cannons are to be rendered obsoleteby this new design?
A. Sprocket: Aie, tat be tue, the new design can hurl missiles twice the distance of the current design cannons. Never have to worry about the explosions that cannon make either.

Q. FNNN: So is that why they call it a stealth trebuchet? A. Sprocket: Aie, tat be tue, it can be placed in the middle of the nite with nary a sound.

Q. FNNN: So what is the current range of the new trebucht?
A. Sprocket: No Comment

Q. FNNN: OK, well how about the missile size that can be thrown - do we have any weight specifications on this model?
A. Sprocket: No Comment.

Q. FNNN: So what can you tell us about it?
A. Sprocket: It’s big, bigger than a house, smaller than a castle.

At this point the interview had to be cancelled due to 5 harquebusiers coming and carting off the engineer. All that was said was something about the cannoniers guild wishing a word about the new design, and missing cannons.

And now the Weather from the Froggy News Weather Desk.

This Weekends forecast is being brought to you by the new Sachiko imports Froggy Weather Station...if its not Sachiko its Crap!

Sat Apr 20 Mostly Cloudy 82°F 68°F

UV Index: 6 Moderate

Sun Apr 21 Strong Storms 79°F 56°F

UV Index: 6 Moderate

The Froggy news network would like to take a moment to thank our guest writer Heath J. Westfield, who bitched so much about no weather he got to write it.

Patrick Haughton

FIFI - I don’t have writers block, I’d have to be able to write in the first place.

Posted by Dan at 06:53 PM | Permalink

The Mad Frenchman passed on a article from the Houston Chronicle about Walmart taking out an life insurance policies out on some of it's lower level employees without their knowledge. Writing off the premiums as a business expense, then when the employee dies collecting the money. Apparently this is a common practice in many companies. The insurance industry calls them "dead peasant" and "dead janitor" policies. Can I have OMG from the house? Think about it somewhere in the accounting department is two people looking over a list of employees. "So you think Fred looks well?" says the Chief something officer. "Yeah he will not do, pick Sarah she is taking up sky diving." Replies the director of things no one talks about. "Well that is settled … now lets look at last month profits. ... pass me that news paper"

Posted by Dan at 06:54 PM | Permalink

I got the strangest compliment Sunday night. The compliment was that I am interesting then I used to be. I have been rolling it around in my head and have not been able to fully understand it. Here is what I am thinking… I am old. Yeah I know 33 is not yet old enough to have to stop buying green bananas, but it is too old to worry about how too get people to like you. At this age if people are going to like you they do, if not chances are you are not going to change their mind. I guess I am not trying to impress people as much. Think about it when I fist met this person I was 27ish. How I looked and what I did was all extensions of wanting impress people in some way. Yes, I now understand that the best way to make an impression on someone is be your self or use a hammer. This thought is still working it's way around my head… I will keep you posted.

Posted by Dan at 06:56 PM | Permalink

Well I am burning off a couple more seconds of fame. I am on the frount page of the Sunday April 7th Northeast Tarrant edition of the Star-Telegram center column above the fold. Yes, 'Bob' the scarecrow is once again infinitely more popular then I am. I have not found a web link to the picture I will see if I can get it scanned.

It is a girl! Congratulations to boys on the cannon crew they have a bouncing baby girl. She has a 32 inch barrel at a bore of 1.68 was delivered at 70lbs. The nice man in an ups truck delivered her last Thursday. The cannon crews old gun is being retired after many years of serves due to fractures found after microflexing. Unfortunately I did not win the raffle to name the new cannon, in spite of my efforts to rig the contest, nor did the other diabolical mind trying to rig the contest. Sorry Shannon, but our revenge will be sweet. In the end the fates smiled on another.

In other news headed out to San Joes for the week for work. I may not update till next Friday.

Posted by Dan at 06:56 PM | Permalink

For years I have spent the same amount of time doing my taxes, 15 minutes. It started when I was making $14,000 a year as a zoo employee. Not much you can do tax wise as a single non-house owner who makes that much money to change your taxes. So I filed the simplest form I could. It became habit, every year just grab the simple form fill out the dozen questions and mail it off… Done. About five years ago I was doing a lot of contract work this made my taxes more complicated. More line on the simplest for to fill out. It annoyed me that my taxes were taking more then the standard 15 minutes to complete. Well this year it happened. I can no longer fill out the simplest tax form. My income is now over the limit. I now have to think about my taxes. You are saying to your self "What is the big deal?" This… I HAVE TO FIND DEDUCTIONS, a house, kids, wives, elderly parents anything! (The use of a ',' in the last sentence with out a 'and' was for dramatic effect and is not a example of good grammar. This statement is to explain to Word 2000 why I made such a greaves error in hopes that it will remove the little squiggles from under the word 'elderly') So you see I have been avoiding growing up and being an adult by avoiding my thinking about the adult subject of taxes. But no more… pass me the mini van.

Posted by Dan at 07:01 PM | Permalink

For only the second time in my life I got knocked out this weekend. Not full down for the count bell rings and it is over kind but the defiantly not standing kind. My brother and I were slap boxing when I was in my mid teens and I leaned in to a punch. That was the first time.

If it has never happened to you let me describe it for you. Physically what happens is simple, pressure is applied to your jaw while it is open about half an inch. The jaw becomes a lever turning your head. Pinching a nerve at that causes a 'short circuit' in your nerves system. Your field of vision narrows and motor function is interrupted. With some practice you can train yourself not to fall down. I am not practiced at this and I fall down.

Before you start thinking of me in a bar somewhere punching it out with a gang of bikers, I need to tell you it was a choreographed stunt fight. I do stunt fighting at Scarborough faire, the local renascence faire.

The fight in question is a comical fight of cheep shots between me and a Pirate Captain named Latamer (Novie Bowden). It is lots of three stooges stuff and kicks to the 'jimmies.' We have done this fight dozens and dozens of times and worked it to the point it looks really good and is hilariously funny. We are both really proud of it. For the record I will work with Novie any time any where and trust him with my life. He is best stuntman I ever worked with. Nor him or I know were we missed the punch, he did not know he had made contact. I went down to a nee and popped back up. When I came up I did not know were in the fight I was or really want I was doing. Novie not only covered me but did not even miss a beat. I was suppose to lead the next set of punches and did not know where I was. He took over jumped ahead in the fight to his next section we did that while Dan came back from blank-look-land. Then fell right back into the swing as I went back and did my part. Accidents will happen, it is the measure of talent when you recover and keep going. Not one person in the audience knew anything was wrong or that is not the way the fight normally goes. Thanks Novie… see you tonight to work on the next fight.

Posted by Dan at 07:02 PM | Permalink