Humor
I wrote this last year when we had really big staff cuts. I post it just for giggles...
Memo
To: All Employees
From: Manager of Software Engineering
Date: 12/10/2002
Re: Productivity
Please discontinue use of terms of reality
Recently we have expanded our sales goals to meet sale goals. To offset the workload of our expanded sales goals we have made strategic staff reduction to increase productivity. In our on going drive to increase the quality of our product, we ask everyone to adopt the new “get it done now/zero defect” mentality. To facilitate this new mindset we ask you to remove some non-management orientated words from your everyday work-related conversations.
Finite: This word has been used to misrepresent time in the business world, as being limited in some way to just what the amount shown on clocks.
Or: We have found this to be to limiting as a term and would like you to replace with the term “and.” Please make a definite effort in the realm of “Yes and No” questions.
Impossible: The use of this word to describe production schedules has really set product roll out back.