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Thanks to my freind Brayn I have started the book 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.' I do not know if any one I know but Brayn has ever read this book, but he swears I am a character in the book. So far the book is really neat.
" It was a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth.' and so it goesw away. Puzzzling"
Well I spent the day cleaning out my office. I go in tomorrow to be let go. It is weird; I was locking up probably for the last time. Thinking about the many nights I have done those rounds and set the alarm. My office took seven boxes to pack up. Not those boxes are sitting in my living room like a guest that does not know if it is ok to put it’s feet on the coffee table. Tomorrow I drive to someone else’s office. The building where people I know work. I have one meeting at 2pm with the HR director. Then I am done, the last responsibility I will have for this company.
Sometimes I have to laugh at my self...
ME: Hey Bunny!
Bunny: hi
ME: How is your world?
Bunny: Fine and yours
ME: good I just working late. But the world is good because I am being brillent.
ME: It would be so much more dramatic if I spelled brilliant correctly.
Pat: Hey Dan...
ME: CString lpszSystemInfo = tchBuffer2
ME: $&%@#^*@#&! window highjacker!
Pat: hehe sorry
IM is hard.
I like kung fu movies. It is all about busting up bozos and great fights. If you too like kung fu movies then you know Hong Kong makes the best ones. This weekend I bought Iron Monkey. Quentin Tarantino has an interview on the DVD. Listening to him I realized something, he loves kung fu movie. He can spot different directors or fight choreographers and understand the characters. For example if you have seen Iron Monkey the kid is Wong Fei Hung China’s most famous hero of the 19th century. I had no idea who he was. So you see I like kung fu movies… and like so many things there is more to learn.
Rhinos can not see very well. But they are fast runners. A rhino lives his life thinking he is a agile runner because he can not see where he is going, everyone else lives by jumping out of his way. Rhinos have faith.
Faith. Right now I using a lot of it. It feels like I am about to let go of the trapeze and fall into the net for the first time. I can see the net I know it is there. Still something in the back of my mind says “you never fall into the net.” The net is the safety and you do not succeed by relying on the safeties.
In my life I have taken bigger risks without a net. But that is different. There is a comfort in knowing that to fall means death. It is a real edge, and you can see it. The net is different it requires faith in something you have not tested. The thing you can not control. You have to let go of the known and drop and the first thing you will know if you wrong is the ripping noise.
The leap does not scare me as much as the having to have faith. If I knew something bad would happen I could prepare. I could fight. This time I have to just have faith and prepare to climb back up. I know I will climb back up and the fall will not scare me. … That is if that net holds.
A Big thank you to Web66, my hosting company, for great support. My site was migrated to a new IP and server this weekend. It was not with out problems, most due to MY ugly Databases.
Everything seems to be working again.
This has been a tough day. Lots of emotions. I feel like the world is happening around me. I know this is not the truth, just how I feel.