'DO NOT EAT!' this post
Well Christmas is coming and it is that time again. Eggnog? No, it is dangerous toy time! The first thing is I am not a big toys are dangerous person. If a kid finds a rock and hits another kid with it, it is NOT the rocks fault. If that happens it is time to introduce someone to cause and effect in the realm of society. I think if a child is physically able to use a tool, and understands how it works then let them use it. School shootings have nothing to do with GI Joe action figures. People who think that are avoiding thinking about the why. But back to the subject, Dangerous Toys!
Once again the morally upstanding world of product liability lawyers has come up with a list of dangerous toys. Guess who is on the top of the list… that is right the most popular toy, not made by a major manufacture. The Yo-Yo Waterball, this spin on the old yo-yo is apparently the number one danger to our kids. The big worry is of strangulation injury. Apparently the Spanish need not have invented the garrotte, just wait for the local toyshop to stock yo-yos.
I say we start mounting spikes and blades on cribs and see what children live. The ones that do are better able to survive in the world. These supper smart babes could develop the ability sense danger on their own. Maybe even be able to play in open fields with out safety mats. Child strangulation injury could be a thing of the past! They may even learn that cut and scraps do not kill you. Running and playing may even be things we want kids to do again.
So I say lets market dangerous toys! Heres to you waterball!
Comments
See I blame schools for school shootings, See I grew up in Plano, school shootings were gouache, when you wanted to hurt someone, you had your dad crush their dads company with a hostile take over.
But in fairness, I give you Pat The Mads top 7 dangerous toys. Personally product tested by me.
Product: Squirt Gun filled with Cherry Kool-Aid
Manufacture: Many
Potential Danger: Beating of child by parent for permanent spots on carpet and furniture
Product: Fathers Power Drill
Manufacture: Craftsman
Potential Danger: Beating of child by parent for permanent holes in wall and fence
Product: Paperclip and wall socket
Manufacture: Many
Potential Danger: Electrocution and funny feeling in fingers.
Product: Scottish Hammer AKA Distance Weight
Manufacture: Many
Potential Danger: Blunt Trauma
Product: Model 1938 Red Ryder BB Gun with compass in the stock
Manufacture: Daisy Air Rifles (http://daisy.ifworld.com/cgi-bin/daisy/products_daisy.html)
Potential Danger: You'll put your eye out
Product: Playing Doctor with Jenny *Last Name Withheld*
Manufacture: Her Parents
Potential Danger: Beating by both sets of parents
Product: Quaint children's computer programs
Manufacture: many
Potential Danger: childhood obesity, or Juvenal detention due breach of corporate networks.
Ok so maybe not all 7 were personally tested by me, guess which two?
Posted by: Pat The Mad | November 18, 2003 02:28 PM