Hey Dan

If you slashdot today you will have seen the White House sent a Cease & Desists letter to The Onion. The Onion is a satirical newspaper the boast headlines like “Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack.” Aparently they are using the presidential seal in their graphic for a parody of the presidential weekly radio address.

"It has come to my attention that The Onion is using the presidential seal on its Web site," wrote Grant M. Dixton, associate counsel to the president last month, according to The New York Times. Dixton wrote that the seal "is not to be used in connection with commercial ventures or products in any way that suggests presidential support or endorsement." He also said The Onion never applied for an exemption to make fun of the president, which they certainly should have done.

First, you need to apply to make fun of the president? Second, only an idiot would not know they are satire. Ok scratch that. Second, why is anyone in the White House reading The Onion at work?

Update:

Here is part of the responds written by Onion editor-in-chief Scott Dikkers...

Dear Mr. Dixon, (Yes, his name is misspelled)

I greatly appreciate your comments regarding my Weekly Radio Address parody. But I'm surprised the president deems it wise to spend taxpayer money for his lawyer to write letters to The Onion.

If you have a lot of extra money lying around that you don't know what to do with, here are some better ideas for spending it:

1. How about a tax break for satirists?

2. With indictments in 'Plamegate' forthcoming, perhaps a nice going-away present for Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Vice President Cheney, or whoever the president may be firing. I recommend a subscription to The Onion.

3. It has recently become obvious that there is need for some sort of federal organization to administer the management of emergencies - a hypothetical 'Federal Emergency Management Administration,' if you will. You could spend the money on that.

4. Harriet Miers could really use a scholarship to some kind of rudimentary judge school.

In the event there's any extra money left over after all these projects, then perhaps the president could justify paying lawyers to protect him from comedians.

... leaders like this are a gift to comedians.

Posted by Dan at 09:03 AM | Permalink

Well, I have started to think about faire next year. Step one come up with my mantra that will help me thru all those moments I need inner faith... how about..

"Yes. Doomsday as predicted in the ancient scrolls."

..I like it.

Note: To avoid people think I am unduly dreading this year, mantras from other years include "I hate the living..." and "Oh sure, it is 'Oooo Ahhh' now but latter there is the screaming and running." If you think about, it explains a great deal about how I feel about faire.

Posted by Dan at 03:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Intelligent design? Squeak is all for it. and here's why:

http://www.venganza.org/

WWFSMD?

I have been touched by his noodly appendage....

Posted by Dan at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.

Posted by Dan at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

How to become paranoid in four easy steps...

Step one; watch President Bush’s call for Congress to give him the power to use the military in law enforcement roles in the event of a bird flu pandemic.
Step two; watch the V is for Vendetta trailer.
Step three; think... why would someone want to line up troops for a pandemic that has not happened yet? Why is this, the most pressing thing on President Bush’s mind?
Step four; watch the V is for Vendetta trailer again.

In other news the Bush administration is taking Oregon’s assisted suicide law to the Supreme Court on the ground that is miss use of federally controlled substances. At the same time the Bush administration has cut funding for Cancer research. Apparently you have a right (obligation) to life, not to live.

Posted by Dan at 09:06 AM | Permalink