Hey Dan

Call the Academy; they awarded the best picture the wrong film. I should have gone to Ultraviolet. This movie is great! You have to go see it! It is 88 minutes of a super model with guns and samurai swords beating up gasmask wearing soldiers while her clothes change color, all to save a cloned kid who carries a world killing virus. It takes less then 5 minutes for them to ask her to get naked to walk thru a security scanner! This has to be the years best movie!

Let’s start with the plot that should not take long. In the future a blood born disease called hemophagia starts giving people super fast reflexes and agility. The virus turns normal every day humans into angst’s ridden tragically hip super humans. The healthy humans dub them hemophagies and round them up while installing a totalitarian government. Rule one never round up the super humans without installing a cult like totalitarian government.

About 20 minutes into the movie hemophagies tag in favor of calling them vampires. In a stroke of film genius about that time all the tragically hip super models that up until this time were on the side of the super model, show up with fangs and join forces with the bad guy! All because this is this cloned kid she wants to save and they don’t. To be fare to the tragically hip vampires, the bad guy does shoot three of them in the head while drinking coffee.

Our super model hero must not fight throngs of bad guys, the tragically hip vampires, some Japanese tragically hip vampires who only live on one floor of this building she has to walk through and oh yeah she is die for some reason that is not really explained. All to save a clone of the bad guy who can talk but only does so to her and writes weird formulas in magazine that will save all humanity. He is complex.

The movie is made up of these scenes where we see a shot of her butt as bad guys poor into the room. Her clothes change color, she says something to the effect of “you are all going to die,” the draw machine guns and samurai swords, rush at her and she kills them. Repeat. Truly it never gets old. This is cinematic excellence.

Now before you claim I am being sarcastic let me tell you this. The movie is a comic book. You would not expect great literature from something you bought at 7-11 for $1.50. You would expect girls in skimpy outfits beating up bad guys with machine guns and samurai swords while secret lab exploded around her. This was just what I wanted. If there is every a Ultraviolet 2, they have another $7.50 of money.